Monday, April 13, 2009

Internal Feud

Its been an emotional roller-coaster ride since late January. On one hand I am trying hard to make the most of it and be as professional as possible, working hard to benefit the best interests of the organization I am working for. On the other hand, I am just being pushed around (including my family), unable to make any personal decisions, leaving me to think that my hard work in no longer a matter of consideration. Among all this is a fading ray of light of that of my boss. I go from handling a team of more than 50 members to a challenge of growing an account (which I have grown to 30 members) to struggling for allocation and loss of a good challenge of work.

No more am I included in account level activities and everyone seems to think that I can be neglected and get new people into the team for a role that I can well handle, making me taste disgust at the effort of 5 hard years that I spent into nurturing this account and treating it as the priority over everything else I was doing including my family. What have I done to deserve this?

I was supposed to have been elevated in my responsibilities due to potential, but looks like it got lost in the series of measures taken to counter the economic-tsunami. Other than my boss, everyone else has decided to forget/ignore my existence. Career-planning is non-existent in my organization and only way is to do well in what is assigned. So I am just doing what I am supposed to do while battling the grief and frustration alone, on my own and in the spare time. Will the professional be overcome by the rising wave of grief and frustration? Only time will tell!